Written by EZEOCHA DIVINE
Communication; the building block to a long lasting and healthy relationship
What is communication?
Communication is an interaction between two people or more that leads to understanding. It is a means of expressing our wants, dislikes,needs and expectations to our partner. If there is no communication in a relationship, it will result to lack of understanding, silent treatment and harbouring of grudge. In a romantic relationship, where communication between lovers isn’t good enough, one person may feel unloved while the other may feel misunderstood.
Good communication is necessary in every relationship to build trust,understanding, love, and bring satisfaction. It helps us express our feelings and desires to our partner, helps us to be understood, and makes us stay connected in our different relationships. It helps a relationship grow and last longer.
Types of Communication
Communication is divided into:
- Non verbal
In verbal communication, we express ourselves by talking, saying how we feel, what we want, what we don’t want, things we enjoy and things we don’t. We talk about our expectations and experiences.
In non verbal communication, we express ourselves using body languages. It can be in form of facial expression or body movements. All these convey important messages to our partners.
How does communication play a role in building a long lasting and healthy relationship?
• When we communicate, it’s a form of intimacy. We are sharing a part of ourselves to our partner. We’re been open to them. We’re letting them, giving them a glimpse into what we feel and how we want to be treated.
• When you communicate in your relationship, you’re passing a message which your partner may not supernaturally know unless you say. People who communicate reduce chances of bearing grudges and keeping thoughts to themselves or staying angry at each other. When you’re able to tell your partner what he/she has done wrong to you, which he/she may have done unintentionally or intentionally without knowing the effect on you, you’re creating room for apology and forgiveness, and this will leave both of you satisfied and happy in your relationship.
• Communication reduces the chances of long term misunderstandings. Individuals judge or consider situations differently,therefore, when you communicate, you clear the air of misunderstanding by explaining to your partner how you perceive a particular situation. This will remove a feeling of resentment or hurt because both parties communicated their different views.
• Communication helps in resolving issues; sometimes one party may have pressing issues, if he/she doesn’t communicate to his/her partner, the issue may remain unresolved. When there is communication, both parties will bring solutions to a problem and agree unanimously on what to do, by this, trust is solidified and reliability is established on both sides.
• Communication helps in conflict management. When both parties are willing to talk about what happened without resorting to silent treatment, theyare one step ahead in settling their conflict
.• Communication helps to shape our expectations. You may have certain expectations from your partner, if you haven’t communicated them, your partner may not know what is expected from them but if you clearly state what your expectations are then your partner will be able to act according to your expectationsand if for any reason they can’t, they also are in the position to communicate back to you. When expectations are clearly stated, it is easier to meet them or give reasons why they can’t be meet and when such reason are given, you owe your partner the responsibility of understanding or making it clearer to him/her the importance of your needs.
• Communication will help your partner to know set boundaries which they shouldn’t exceed. When you’re able to communicate with your partner, you can openly tell them your likes and your dislikes. If you don’t say, they may never know. But when there is communication and both parties know their boundaries, they will be able to keep to it thereby promoting respect over their partner’s wishes.
• Communication helps partners understand themselves. If you don’t speak out, your partner is likely to misunderstand you or your actions. Communicating with your partner will help them understand you better and know how to respond to you in certain situations.
• Communication brings unity. Couples who communicate stay united because they are able to express themselves to each other.
How to communicate;
Sometimes the tone of your voice or your body language or facial expression might be a turn off to your partner while you’re trying to communicate. Your partner may be someone who finds it difficult to speak, he/she may be more of a listener than a talker, however, there are ways to communicate our needs,fears and desires without seeming paranoid or rude. Sometimes people find it difficult to communicate because they are scared of been misunderstood or rejected.
1. Be willing to listen.
Listening is the most important part of communication. Don’t listen to reply rather listen to understand. When you’re a good listener, you’re encouraging your partner who may not be much of a talker to express themselves openly.
2. Let your partner speak without interruption.
Let your partner speak without interruption. Don’t cut your partner short whilst they are still talking; allow them to conclude their statements before you begin yours.
3. Maintain good eye contact…
show interest and attention. Avoid every form of distraction and try to be open- minded when communicating.
4. Be cautious of the tone of your voice.
If you’re very angry, take deep breaths before you speak. Try to be very calm before addressing an issue to avoid uttering words that may hurt your partner.
5. Be cautious of the tone of your voice…
and try to consider the effect of your words on your partner, at the same time,say your mind and how you really feel but be careful in your choice of words.
6. Make your thoughts very clear to your partner…
and give room for questions so he/she will be able to understand you.
Which other effective way do you think relevant during communication?
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